Scrub in and get ready—these resources are worth a closer look.
HEY SURGEONS,
Welcome to the Surgeon’s Resource Library
As a surgeon, you're expected to balance a demanding, thankless workload, patient care, and the complexities of navigating our broken healthcare system, all without any formal training on how to do that. I’ve got you.
I’ve compiled some of my most trusted resources here—all designed to empower you to make the best day-to-day decisions for yourself, your patients and your career.
READY? LET’S GO!
ALL MY FAVORITE RESOURCES, CURATED JUST FOR YOU
PLANNING + PREPARING
My guide to preparing for OR Days.
PATIENT RELATIONSHIPS
Skillful Empathy– Building Trust with Patients
PURPOSE
Finding Purpose in Your Work as a Surgeon
RESOURCES FOR…
Better Patient Connection / More Practice Protection
Here’s why this matters. You are going to make mistakes, misjudgments, and errors, and you think that opens you up to patient retaliation. The truth is that you have control over whether your patients retaliate against you in the face of error. Your control lies in the connections you create with people. Bottom line: patients don’t sue doctors they know, like, and trust. Strong, authentic, vulnerable relationships are the foundation. Here’s how to build them.
Listening to Patients is the Key
Studies show doctors interrupt patients within eleven seconds of them starting to speak, but if we let them talk, most will say everything they need to say in under 2 minutes. Give all patients the time and space they need to tell you their story in those first few minutes of the appointment, and not only will you connect more deeply with that person, but you’ll also gather data and information more easily. This is giving patients the gift of your presence. You give them your presence, and they give you their diagnosis (approximately 80% of diagnoses can be made based solely on patient history). This is an essential value exchange, and it all takes place in those first few crucial minutes in the clinic or at the bedside. Stay tuned for my TEDx talk that dives deeper into this subject.
Understanding the Difference Between Sympathy & Empathy
Sympathy and pity may seem kind, but they often come across as judgment, creating disconnection between you and your patients. This distance can lead to miscommunications, misunderstandings, and even board complaints or malpractice suits. The key to building real rapport is empathy and compassion. This insightful cartoon illustrates the difference between sympathy and empathy in a memorable way, showing you how to strengthen your empathy skills. For a career spent connecting with patients from all backgrounds, empathy will take you further than sympathy ever could.
This video by Brene Brown explains the difference between Sympathy and Empathy.
Building Trust with Patients
It’s natural to have strong feelings about some patients—they might seem difficult, non-compliant, or simply challenging to work with. But while we may think we can hide our thoughts, they often show through in our tone, body language, and facial expressions. In fact, research shows that only 7% of communication comes from words alone.
For surgeons, developing skillful empathy isn’t just about patient care; it’s essential for protecting your reputation and reducing the risk of patient complaints or retaliation. The Surgeons with Purpose podcast episode “Reputation and Malpractice Insurance: Cultivating Know, Like, and Trust” dives into this topic, offering strategies to communicate effectively, even with challenging patients.
Listen to it here and start cultivating trust and understanding with every patient interaction.
RESOURCES FOR…
A Better Emotional Experience / Less Mistakes
When you manage your mind and your emotions, you take back control of your lived experience, no matter the circumstances. Think of yourself as a surfer. You move through the world surfing the waves of circumstances. Some of the waves you encounter include: OR items being on back-order, equipment not working, and painfully long turnover times. No problem. You’ll surf those waves without letting them knock you off your board. And with that amount of control and clarity, you’re better positioned to access your knowledge and surgical intuition, which means—less mistakes in the operating room.
The Work with Byron Katie
Here’s a fact. Your circumstances are not the cause of your suffering and dissatisfaction. It’s your thoughts about them, and you have complete control over the thoughts in your brain. Your brain will cause you suffering if you don’t learn how to monitor it and direct it. Byron Katie is the creator of a foundational process called “The Work” that does wonders to distance yourself from a painful thought and open your mind to other possibilities. The more you practice seeing your thoughts as suggestions, not truths, the sooner you’ll be able to create a life you can be proud of.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome can feel isolating, especially for high-achieving professionals who may believe they’re the only ones struggling with self-doubt. But here’s the truth: nearly everyone experiences this at some point, especially those in demanding, high-stakes fields like surgery. Imposter syndrome often stems from what’s known as “pluralistic ignorance”—we all experience it to some degree but rarely discuss it, making us feel like we’re the only ones falling short.
You’re not alone. Even renowned figures like Maya Angelou and Einstein battled these feelings, proving that imposter syndrome isn’t about skill or worth but is instead a product of self-expectations. This 4-minute TED video is an excellent place to start. It offers a quick, powerful overview that will help you put a name to what you’re feeling and understand the roots of imposter syndrome.
Once you have language for these feelings, it becomes easier to take steps toward overcoming them. Acknowledging imposter syndrome is the first step toward reclaiming your confidence and recognizing your achievements for what they are: well-earned and worthy of pride.
Get Comfortable Saying “No”
For many of us who’ve thrived as overachievers in a culture that often rewards self-sacrifice, setting boundaries can feel awkward and unnatural. But learning to establish healthy limits is essential for your well-being and effectiveness as a surgeon. Brooke Castillo, a master certified coach and founder of The Life Coach School, offers a wealth of free guidance on this very topic in her podcast, The Life Coach School Podcast. If you find that senior partners are overstepping, extra patients are added to your schedule without warning, or you struggle to say "No," start with episodes #12 and #163. They’re packed with actionable insights to help you shift from people-pleasing to empowered decision-making.
Listen to Episode 12: Boundaries
Listen to Episode 163: Boundaries 2.0
Complications– Trade Shame for Self-Compassions
Complications are an inevitable part of surgery, yet they can trigger intense feelings of self-blame, shame, and fear. We’re told complications mean we’re operating enough, but that doesn’t stop the emotional spiral when they happen. These reactions are normal—actually, they show you care deeply for your patients. The antidote? Self-compassion.
Compassion is an unlimited resource, and it’s as essential to give to yourself as it is to your patients. The story may begin with the complication, but you get to write the ending. Kristen Neff, PhD, a leading expert in self-compassion, offers invaluable resources on her website. When you’re ready to take care of yourself, start here. It’s the first step toward moving through the shame and back into confidence and compassion.
Try these Self-Compassion Practices when complications cause an emotional spin-out.
RESOURCES FOR…
From People-Pleaser to Empowered Professional
Let’s face it. We, surgeons, tend to identify as overachieving people-pleasers. We had to take on that role to survive our cult-like, militaristic training programs. How humans get somewhere is how they arrive there. You may have arrived as an overworking people-pleaser who has no idea how to set boundaries. That stops now. Now is the time to evolve your self-concept to someone who has their own back, says “no” regularly, and negotiates effectively.
Discovering Your Why
As surgeons, we all know what we do, and we’re pretty clear on how we do it. But I’ve found that reconnecting with why we do what we do can make a profound difference. Think about it—our “why” is the reason we chose this path, and it's what keeps us going, even on the hardest days.
Knowing my “why” has kept me grounded through countless challenges. It’s what motivates me when hours run long and energy is running low. For me, understanding this deeper purpose has been essential, not only for my own fulfillment but also to prevent burnout—a very real risk in our field.
It also shifts the way I connect with patients. Remembering my “why” helps me see beyond just the technical aspects of surgery and focus on the impact I’m making in their lives. It’s not just about outcomes; it’s about being present for each person we help.
I’d encourage all of us to revisit our own “why.” Simon Sinek’s TED Talk on this topic was an eye-opener for me, and he offers some great self-guided courses for those wanting to dive deeper. I think you’ll find, like I did, that having a clear “why” is one of the most powerful tools we have—not only for better patient care but for building a career we’re truly proud of.
Negotiation Skills for Every Part of Life
Negotiation is everywhere. Whether it’s arranging call coverage with colleagues or convincing your kids it’s bedtime, we’re negotiating daily. But mastering this skill takes strategy, empathy, and insight into human psychology. "Never Split the Difference" by former FBI negotiator Chris Voss offers exactly that. Voss shares the same negotiation techniques he used in high-stakes scenarios—getting terrorists to release hostages and convincing criminals to surrender—and shows how they apply to everyday life.
Through trust, empathy, and clear communication, Voss’s methods can change how you approach any negotiation. His book is a resource you’ll find yourself reading and referencing repeatedly, discovering new ways to apply these concepts each time. And for ongoing insights, check out his free newsletter and masterclasses. For any surgeon looking to strengthen this essential skill, “Never Split the Difference” is a must-read.
Negotiation & Contract Essentials
As residents and fellows, many of us are accustomed to an unsustainable lifestyle of being overworked and undervalued. But once you’ve graduated, that trainee mindset has to be left behind. As an attending, you determine your value and worth. Everything in an employment contract is negotiable—yes, everything—even if you’re told otherwise.
Learning how to negotiate early is essential, whether it’s for your first position post-training or mid-career adjustments. Michael Johnson, a contract lawyer married to a physician, understands the unique challenges and opportunities in physician contracts. Together with his wife, he’s created a self-guided course to close the knowledge gap in contract negotiations for doctors. This resource equips you with the skills to negotiate confidently and assertively. It's a must-have for every physician looking to take control of their career.