This episode discusses sensitive topics including sexual assault

Today's episode features Dr. Francis Mei Hardin, an otolaryngologist, host of "Promising Young Surgeon", and a pioneer of culture change. She interviewed me about being sexually assaulted when I was a 4th year resident. We talk about power dynamics in training, the importance of compassion and support for trainees, and how my program cared for me in my wounded state after the assault. If you have ever experienced assault or violence, please take good care of yourself, seek support, and listen with caution.

Short and sweet, I will give you ONE thought that can become the foundation of your surgeon self concept. Adopt this belief and you’ll remember why you became a surgeon in the first place. With a solid self concept, you can grow confidence, curiosity, creativity, and connection.

You don’t have to hunker down in a basement bunker (your "surgeon room"). You actually have the freedom to explore the rest of your beautiful home. Consider your identity a multi-room house, and you’ve merely ignored the other parts/rooms of yourself for so long that you’ve forgotten they exist. Consider detaching from your surgeon identity and reconnecting with other parts of your multifaceted self.

The key to creating wealth is learning how to engage with and manage your emotions. Emotions are vibrational frequencies in your body. As a surgeon, you have been taught to ignore your body. That's BS. It's time to reconnect with your body and realize the power of your intuition. In this episode, I discuss how emotions are the key to unlocking your potential, how to engage with emotions as though you were engaging with a child or training an animal, and the boundless places you can go when you allow and digest negative emotions to get to a place where you can intentionally generate emotions that create momentum in your life.

Life is not all or none. Black or white. This or that.

There is overlap between two contradictory sides of ourselves. When we see the world this way, we are able to accept ourselves in whatever realm we tend toward and consciously shift ourselves to the realm that best serves our goals. From the system's perspective, we should be unemotional, selfless martyrs. The truth is: we are complex, feeling, thinking, imperfect creatures.

Humans love drama. But when we indulge in drama, we keep ourselves stuck in our current lived experience. In this episode, you will learn a language you can use to recognize drama in your life and a new lens through which to see the world that will help you exit the drama triangle and become empowered. You can create whatever you want in your life, and in order to do that, you have to redefine the roles of victim, villain and hero.

According to Byron Katie, there are three businesses: your business, other people's business, and the universe's business.

Surgical complications are none of your business. They are the universe's business.

What do I mean by this? NOT that you shouldn't take action to help your patients when they have a complication. You absolutely should. I say this to mean that you do not own a complication as something you intentionally caused or have full control over.

Our training has taught us to rely on white swans and fear red swans. In this episode you'll learn why approaching your patients this way creates roadblocks, can lead to misdiagnosis and mistreatment of the patient, causes you distress, and distracts you from reality.

We know how to create safety for patients. The processes and procedures have been shoved down our throats. Sure they are useful to keep patients safe in specific situations. But what about keeping us safe? Little does JHACO know that a surgeon who feels safe creates safety for everyone. So, surgeon, let's make your safety a priority.

Wait...our bodies aren't just vessels carrying our intelligent brains and skillful hands from the OR to the clinic? In this episode, you'll learn what makes you a whole, complete human and the importance of understanding and honoring your whole, undivided self.

Wondering why I went from a seemingly successful surgeon to a surgeon coach and podcaster? In this episode, I give you a peak behind the curtain into my personal life. You'll learn about the drama of my past, my struggles with mental health, how the shock of the pandemic sent me on an unexpected journey of introspection, and the miracle of coaching.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with mental health, please find support. Contact your doctor, call your best friend, make an appointment with a mental health professional, do whatever you need to do to support you. I'm here for you, and I'd love to hear your story and support you. Please email me at mel@melthackercoaching.com

Martyrdom is a toxic, one way street to burn out. In this episode, I explore why humans feel the need to add suffering to their lives, from historical and religious examples of martyrs to martyrs in medicine (and the dangerous precedent that sets for the rest of us). The ultimate message here is: you matter. I hope you'll feel inspired to prioritize yourself and give martyrdom the middle finger.

Shame is an emotion that can either destroy you or humanize you. In this episode, you'll learn what shame is, why it is such a powerful social motivator and de-motivator, who is particularly susceptible to shame, the origins of shame, how to manage shame when we face surgical complications, and how to become unshameable.

Surgeons are humans, and humans feel anxiety. Anxiety does not have to derail you in the operating room. If you are a surgeon who struggles with anxiety, nothing is wrong with you. I've struggled my entire life, and I've learned to love the anxious side of me. This episode will normalize this omnipresent emotion and provide you with immediately actionable strategies to implement right away.

True connection with patients comes from empathy, not sympathy or pity, which can feel like judgment to those on the receiving end. This resource offers a lighthearted yet powerful cartoon to help you understand the difference and build stronger, trust-based connections with your patients.

Working with patients isn’t always easy, especially when they’re challenging or non-compliant. But our thoughts about patients often reveal themselves through tone, expression, and body language, impacting the trust we build with them. This resource offers insights on using skillful empathy to protect your reputation and foster patient trust.

As surgeons, we can easily describe what we do and how we do it, but the deeper question is often overlooked: Why do we do what we do? Simon Sinek is a leading voice on the importance of finding your "why," the purpose that drives your work and gives it meaning. Your “why” shapes your feelings, your actions, and ultimately, your sense of fulfillment. Sinek’s TED Talk on this topic is a great starting point, and his self-guided courses offer further guidance to help you uncover your unique purpose.

In high-stress environments like surgery, it’s easy to get caught in cycles of self-doubt and blame, especially when things don’t go as planned. The Work by Byron Katie offers a simple, effective way to examine and release unhelpful thoughts. By questioning and reframing these thoughts, you can regain control over your mindset, reduce mental strain, and build resilience. It’s a powerful tool for surgeons looking to stay grounded and focused, no matter the challenges they face.

Compassion After Complications: Caring for Yourself as You Care for Others

Surgical complications can be incredibly hard to face, often bringing a wave of self-blame and shame. But remember: these feelings are normal and reflect the compassion you have for your patients. This resource introduces tools for self-compassion, helping you process complications with kindness toward yourself—because taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your patients.

Imposter syndrome is pervasive in high-achieving women...even surgeons. In this episode, I look at all sides of this very important issue. You'll learn the history, the origins, the impact, and most importantly, how to overcome it.